((((((Perfect silence)))))))) You don't sound as desperate at least, maybe I'm wrong. that lonliness will get you every tim. It's a killer. The people I knew who were invilved with drugs often missed the socila asppect when they stopped. There is a sort of communtity among users. Still, it is a community which hinges on self destruction... That might not seem so important when you are so alone.
Please try to hang in there. Maybe we can brainstorm about ways to get you some more present friends than the one who is so busy now. What do you think? Guys? My own socializing patterns are very limited, but maybe someone has some good ideas.
Hugggs, PS. It's a horrible time of the year to feel the way you do now. Keep in touch, and I will definitely try to be there in spirit (in case you're wondering I'm that short, brown haired, round, squirrely little woman scampering about saying "anyone seen my..... I swear I put it right there!")