no and I guess I am lucky as I can be very irritating

But then M is at home at the moment so he isnt having so much stress. If I attempt to talk to him early in the mornings or when he is tired that is another story...... basically I don't
But after a very long time like 34 years I have no clue. Maybe he is going through a very rough time. Paws crossed for your mutual health and communication in the future.
Take care,
Fuzzy
PS I should not in theory have answered this as I have not been married anything like as long as 27 years..... sorry
Personally, I hate giving up on people so I would try my best to work things out. But if he is abusive then it would be time to leave..... unless you can see that he wants to change. Sorry, I haven't answered your question at all, have I
Have you thought of taking a short (or longer) break away from him to give yourself time to think about this from a distance?
Boundaries..... gotta love 'em