As far as ways to find a therapist, this is another website that is pretty popular among professionals and you will likely find a good T here:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

Also, if there is a university nearby with a psychology grad department, they may have suggestions for good therapists that have come from their program and are practicing in the area. You can look up the nearby university, and then "psychology," "counseling center," or "psychological services center." First, you may be able to see an intern for very cheap this way. If you'd prefer not to see a newbie, you can ask them for a referral and they are usually very helpful!

I also agree with the others -- the fit is of the utmost importance. If you decide to go to therapy (I would recommend it, it's very helpful!), shop around, find a T that fits, ask them to explain HOW they helped people like you in the past, what therapy will look like, how long it will take -- ask TONS of questions. I know this is not easy.. I have low self-esteem too and I am so afraid of looking stupid sometimes.. but think about what you're looking for -- think about how you'd like life to be different -- write down all the questions you can think of ahead of time -- a good therapist will readily and happily answer all of your questions. In fact, therapists LIKE it when people ask questions, very much! They want to do their jobs well and they want you to feel comfortable, and they are relieved when they don't have to read your mind to figure out where you are confused.

I know it's difficult to make the first step in going to see a therapist. I felt the same way when I went to therapy for the first time. But it wasn't long until I very much looked forward to seeing my therapist. It becomes a very safe place where you are free to say whatever you need to say with no ramifications and no judgment. Your therapist will help you find new ways of looking at things, will have good tips for the here-and-now, and will help you understand where your feelings come from. Good therapy improves relationships, promotes self-awareness and insight, gives you coping skills for difficult emotions, and overall helps you feel better about yourself. Although sometimes therapy can be painful, for the most part it feels good to have a mentor who really listens to you and wants to help you overcome what's troubling you.

A therapist will not laugh at you or tell you you're overreacting. If your T laughs at you or minimizes your problems, find a new one immediately!

If you decide to do self-help, there is a REALLY good self-help book called "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life." Best of all, you can join a listserv meant for people reading this book here: http://www.contextualpsychology.org/act_for_the_public

The author of the book and others who specialize in the approach will actually respond to some of the posts here!!

Hope this helps.