To Vickie in Pheonix: Thank you for what you wrote. I cant explain it very well but it means a lot to me to hear 'the other side' (the side that identifies with my boyfriend) appreciate what I wrote. He, too, suffered from his father's alcoholism. But he denies that his father is an alcoholic. In fact, once when I said that he is, in front of my boyfriend and his brother, they both felt I crossed the line... I think there is denial and fear around that. My boyfriend himself used to drink a lot but recently realised he has an issue and stopped. His brother still drinks alot. I feel that his family has a negative influence on him and when he is away from them our relationship is better. Its so sad. But obviously, he cannot and should not cut his realtionship with them. When I say to him that he has a trust issue - I think he can see what I mean. But I think he is too scared sometimes to deal with it.
I come from a family where there is no alcoholism. My dad though is adicted to cigarettes. Its a bit different. So in the beginning it was hard for me to understand the issues. What I would like to know is - you said that "Suddenly one day, it became clear to me that he was right. It is so frightening to trust. But I am trying." - How did you suddenly one day realised this?
I wish you well, and admire your strengh!