I never had any control over who would come out when. the first time I realized others were coming out during therapy after I was diagnosed and told I had DID I was embarrassed and a bit scared of what might have happened while I was gone. My therapist put me at ease by telling me nothing has changed I just had a name now for whats always been happening. whether I knew it or not the alters were coming out during therapy. Now that I know whats been going on nothing is going to change with who comes out when, there wasn't really any way to stop it or force it to happen. I had alters that dealt with those things that we were talking about and it was their jobs to deal with those things so they come out. its when I don't have any alters to deal with something that none will come out. She kind of laughed and told me now that I know I have DID and alters, its going to be those times that we are talking and I don't switch into an alter that Im going to wish an alter would come out because looking at myself and my problems smack dab in the face is never an easy thing to do. But thats what I was there for. thats what I was paying her her time and her room, make me look at myself and my problems and find solutions. Now I had a hard choice to make to stay in therapy and be willing to take a hard look at myself and my problems smack dab in the face or drop out of therapy and either deal with my problems on my own or the way I have all my life ignoring them, shoving them aside, dissociating. I chose to stay in therapy. it wasn't easy having to deal with things when no alters came out. there were many times when I wished I had an alter whose job it was to take care of those hard things we talked about in therapy. But by the time we were done talking about those things it was worth it. I learned a lot about myself, solved many problems all on my own and that made me proud of myself. It showed me that I was stronger than I thought I was and I could take care of myself and find solutions to my problems without having to fly off to the ceiling.

its hard to be the responsible one instead of an alter but give it a try. you may be amazed by what you learn about yourself.