I've always known I could come here for feedback, but I've been reluctant to do so regarding my daughter. Something...for some reason, I know not what, has made her distant from me. For those few of you who know me here, you know that she and her husband, twin boys age 7, recently moved to Turkmenistan. Though I was never a meddling or obsessive mother or grandmother, only visiting them a few times a year (three hours away)...the news that they were moving so far, to such a distant place, was very hard for me. Prior to their departure this past summer, they installed "skype" on the inlaw's computer so they could communicate via webcam. A few months ago, I wrote to her email, telling her how much I missed them, and could we communicate on skype. She called me, once, not on webcam, though it was a free call using skype. Her responses to my emails are brief and impersonal. I've sent several packages to them, to the tune of $1,000 (mostly shipping costs), I realize, in hopes of hearing from her. I've gotten polite "thank you's."
In trying to assess this, I've retraced the way she grew up with me and her dad. I was, indeed, very unhappy, though we never "fought," and I stayed with him till she left for college. She knew how unhappy I was, but I spent all my money on her...her clothes, her cars (even when she was married I gave her and her husband my car)...while her dad squirrelled his money into savings. She seems to have gravitated toward him more than me recently. He was, and is, an emotionally inept and distant person, incapable of meaningful interaction. I don't begrudge her the relationship with him, but I am at a loss as to why she is rejecting me. In all my emails to her, I sign, "love, Mom." She doesn't even sign her name, and I realize I would not hear from her at all if I didn't write.
Whine...whine...I know.
I am age 59, haven't "dated" for 5 years. Recently a man I've known for many years has expressed interest in me. I'm so devoid of interest in dating, but thinking maybe I should try to find an outside avenue to fulfillment.
OH, my...I've rambled too long.
Hoping to get some feedback.
Patty