You definitely know your stuff! I so glad things are getting better for you. You seem like such a good person and you deserve for things to be great and better is a wonderful step towards that! I definitely know who I am but I am not living up to my potential. I want to be doing so much more with my life and I don't know how I got stuck in this rut. But I am going to make a change a big one. I am going to move either with my beau or with my parents. I am gonna use my college degree for something and start teaching. I know that once I can get out of this negative atmosphere and be happy with my life and keep working hard for my personal therapy I will probably stop lying and I won't have to try as much to impress others because I would impress myself....does that make any sense or did I just ramble for an incredible amount of time? lol. I was thinking about these things before but hearing you say the my sense of self could be making this habit worse I definitely agree! I don't know if this change is the perfect thing for me but change is definitely what I need since I am changing personally. I could start all over in a new place with new people with a new career and without lying...
thank you so much for all of the advice. I am going to look into that book! What do you think about all of this...i feel like its the right path i just feel it. I would like an outside opinion if you dont mind.
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Originally Posted by jexa
Thanks amdorsch! I'm glad I could help.
I've been in therapy for about 5 1/2 months.. I'm working on more than OCD, though, so my progress has been somewhat slow as I move from one issue to another. But things are getting better!  It just takes time.
You know, I was thinking about this some more the other day and I think your lying has something to do with a lack of clear identity. You say you feel like you don't have anything interesting to say if you don't lie. Well, trying not to lie and tracking it and rewarding good behavior will work to help you change, but won't give you interesting things to talk about. I'm working on my sense of self to help me feel more comfortable around people and having conversations. I think you need to work on your sense of self, too.. is that right? Are you doing interesting things? Are you living the life you want to live? Are you living up to your values? Do you know what you value?
My therapist is helping me define some of these things for myself. A therapist might help you, too. If you can't afford therapy, there's this great self-help book called "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life." It is really fantastic and some of the chapters really help you define what you want out of life.. It's based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which is my therapist's style and works really well for me.
Just a suggestion... hope this helps! |