(((((((((((((((Blue)))))))))))))))))))

I think THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO is to stop working on the trauma stuff in therapy and to regain your footing in the here and now. Pay attention to the signals you are giving yourself. You are overwhelmed. It might take years to get through the trauma stuff...it has for me. YEARS. But if we can allow that, we can allow ourselves to move through it at a pace that we can handle without our lives starting to feel out of control.

When I started therapy, it was just before Thanksgiving two years ago. I do remember how overwhelmed I felt...and my boys went from having this really limited amount of screen time to being allowed to spend entire weekends playing video games. I felt horrible and guilty about it, but T's response was "so what?" And I realized he was right. A weekend of video games wasn't the end of the world. I didn't have to be perfect all the time. Things could be "good enough".

What would "good enough" look like for you right now? Is there anything that you can just let go so you can give yourself a break?

I think it is hugely important to realize when we've been pushed too far, and to find ways to scale back and get grounded again before we move forward.

Can you call T today and let her know what's going on? I bet Wednesday feels far away.

Thinking of you. Breathe. Be gentle with you. You will make it through this. Let yourself be "good enough".