I am finding this very hard to write about, feeling anxious just typing this. I do not feel good about this at all, please don't judge me. Need to tell someone, because I simply cannot do this in real life.

I have been (during high) seeing and sleeping with another man. I'm scared of stopping the relationship because it makes me feel good and because I'm petrified of the void without him.

I know that this is selfish, my head says, leave it alone, the relationship is so damaging to not only me, but obviously I am married. I have contemplated leaving my husband to set up alone so that I can continue this affair (clearly hypomania talking to me!).

Last night my husband went out and I had phone sex with a guy I know, I don't even know why!

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm feeling very alone and scared of what I'm capable of on a high. I know I need to seek medical help, am in process of sorting all this, but just want to know if anyone else has difficulty in this area.