</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Do you believe in forgiving someone who hurt you unintentionally because they did not understand your triggers?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
In theory, yes. In practice it is really really difficult. I suppose you have to think whether it is reasonable that they SHOULD understand your triggers. Whether this was a one off, out of character action. I'm all for second chances. But there is a saying I have come to see the sense of:
"Fool me once - shame on you.
Fool me twice - shame on me."
I suppose my interpretation of this is that one mistake is understandable. To hurt someone once could be an honest mistake. But when it gets more common, when you are being hurt repeatedly in similar circumstances, maybe that relationship is not good.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Who has the right to compare and judge another's pain? I don't

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Pain is pain is pain. It can't be measured from the outside. You hurt - that hurt deserves recognition. It might be justifiable pain. It might be pain others would notexperience from similar situations. imo it is reasonable for someone to say, "I didn't realise that would hurt you. I'm sorry you were hurt."

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
My parents rejected me and I was angry with them for a long time. They knew how hurt I was by their lack of care and respect for me but they never apologized. I wasted a lot of time trying to "make" them realise they had not shown me the respect I deserved as a daughter and a human being. If they had apologized I would have forgiven them. I guess I was naive?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))
I understand this. Idon't have an answer. Except that I don't think you were naieve. I think they were wrong. I don't think you should try to carry the blame for this. But some people just will never "get it." And those of us who do "get it" are left to try to deal with it. It isn't fair, imop. It isn't right, imo. But it happens.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
So.... do you bear grudges?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I try not to but I guess I do. It's another sign that I am not a nice person? Or maybe it is another sign that I am not perfect.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I do not deserve to feel better.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I have to disagree with this. I feel it myself, that I do not deserve to feel better. I know if I said it that you woudl disagree. So I am disagreeing with you, while feeling the same about me. Shall we hide in a hole together? Maybe together we can find a way to make eachother feel better? ALL I have seen of you tells me you do not deserve to feel this way. But I understand how it is that you feel bad about yourself, because I feel it too, about myself. In fact, all I know tels me that very few people (and you are not one of the exceptions) deserve to feel so bad. I wish I could change how you feel but I can't. All I can do is keeptelling you that i think you are a wonderful person and I am glad to know you.
C