Fuzzybear,

To forgive those that have truely hurt you is one of the hardest things to do. But, to hold on to resentment is like having a toxic substance in your body all the time. I told my therapist once how, if I didn't call my dad on the phone, we would never have any relationship because he would never call me. He was an active alcoholic for over 30 years. I told her that I wasn't going to call him anymore, that he was too irresponsible for me to respect him in any way. She said, accept it or not, he's only capable of what he's capable of, and you can lead the relationship because you are capable of more than he is, or you can choose to do less than you are truely capable of, close your heart, and hold on to resentment. So I still call him, and accept his weaknessess, and love him the best I can. It's a pretty weak relationship, but I don't walk around holding anger and resentment anymore (it takes so much energy to do that).

And yes, it's not easy, I know, there's of line of parental figures who never gave me what I needed, but at some point, I have to forgive and let go, it's the only thing I have control over.

I think those who have the greatest adversity, have the chance for the greatest growth; I respect your challenges, and I feel for you! I know I need support to do the right things; and I believe in you!! The hardest thing to change is your expectations. I had to seriously alter mine regarding my father.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean putting yourself in harms way, though, if someone triggers you, you may need to limit your contact, and protect yourself; surround yourself with those who treat you right.

Take care.