Elysium thank you for your reply! To answer your question about the screaming voice i think it is just in my head but when it gets really loud it sounds like it is everywhere. Some times it talks to me but rarely and all it says is hurtful. Im way to afraid to turn myself in i have been through that before, though not for whatever screwy thing that is going on with me now for normal PTSD symptoms like flashbacks and panic attacks. Im afraid that they will never allow me to leave i mean at least thats what i think. I don't want anymore diagnosis's. BTW anyone ever been to VA inpatient unit? I don't know what its like. How can I work up the courage to turn myself in im so tired of fighting everthing and being afraid constantly. I would not be able to go talk to my therapist and leave not thinking that im now being watched more because i gave in to them. And what if they tell me to go away because i have been avoiding most of my calls for months especially his calls. sorry if this seems like im ranting.