I like that a lot Myzen, puts things in perspective. It feels good to write these things down!

Letting go of those dynamics is probably one of the hardest things anyone can do...I guess especially when the problem isn't anything you can visibly see.

I'm just starting to look into therapy now, and this forum here has alot of good tips, but alot of the task seems so huge, like there is so much red tape in the way that it seems like you can never get through to "the finish line."

Family also has a way of making you doubt yourself, whethe you really have a problem with depression or not. In the past when I have mentioned it to my family, I often got responses that, "depression is a temporary thing, you'll get over it"

The one I love the most is, "your imagining things"

I think those sayings and the like has really got me to the point where I'm constantly evaluating myself...asking if all of these things are just "in my head" and will go away if I wait it out...or if its a problem that will keep getting worse if I wait.

For the past four years I think it has just got worse. But of course, I think my family has gotten it stuck in my head that if I just wade through it, it will all go away. Its the most fustrating thing to doubt your own sanity for years...it feels absolutely awful I hope you know how I feel when I say that.

Either way thank you all for the advice, today I felt absolutely horrible...like being wake was the biggest task in the universe(not something new for me though).

I still feel out of loop, but you guys advice but some things in perspective inwhich I needed.