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Old Dec 22, 2009, 01:52 PM
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seeker1950 seeker1950 is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2005
Location: WV
Posts: 8,131
Thank you, Bloom, for you honest reply. You have given me a lot to think about. I do know mothers who are controlling, and it is bewildering to see this. I work with one woman who micro-manages every aspect of her grown daughters' lives, and over the years have known others. I'm not like that, and I would say my daughter is and always has been a "free spirit." I do agree with you about my sending the gifts. I readily acknowledge this is my way of keeping in touch with her and the twin boys. Several of these shipments have actually been things she said she needed and couldn't get over there. Regarding depression, she and I both take antidepressants...for similar traits, and I'm mindful of that in giving her space.
Over the years, I've observed mothers whose lives have been all enmeshed in those of their daughters, to find themselves empty and alone when the daughter goes off making her own life. I always thought, "I'll never be like that!" and here I am behaving the same way! I've refrained from meeting people, joining social circles, or even going out with friends. It's my own fault, and I realize I need to make some changes. It has just been too easy to isolate myself.
Thanks again,
Patty