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Fuzzybear said:Do you believe in forgiving someone who hurt you unintentionally because they did not understand your triggers?

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I think that if someone honestly didn't know what they said or did was hurtful, and you let them know, "Hey, that hurt me.", and they honestly try to avoid that behavior in the future, then yes, they can be forgiven. If they persist in behavior they know to be hurtful, why keep going back for more?

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My parents rejected me and I was angry with them for a long time. They knew how hurt I was by their lack of care and respect for me but they never apologized. I wasted a lot of time trying to "make" them realise they had not shown me the respect I deserved as a daughter and a human being. If they had apologized I would have forgiven them. I guess I was naive?

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I don't think that just because someone is related to you means you are obligated to take whatever they dish out. Unfortunately, many children and adults seem stuck in dependent situations where they can't get away from abusive or uncaring parents/caregivers - but many independent adults seem to be drawn to continue relationships w/relatives who are just plain mean, uncaring & selfish. I've never understood why, exactly. If you're grown, paying your own bills, living your own life, and dealing with your own responsibilities, why continue to associate with people who are cruel? Just because they, due to some accident of fate, happen to be related to you? We don't deliberately choose (well, most people believe so, anyway, reincarnational soul choices excluded) our birth parents or the people we're related to - so why choose to continue relationships with people who are just bad to be around? When you're an adult, I feel you have the right to choose your own family - be with people who care, accept and are supportive of their other 'family' members. Sometimes a family of good friends is hard to find - most of the people I consider to be family to me now are co-workers, but I consider myself lucky to have such a great 'family' that I see every night at work!

Be angry as long as it's protective & productive anger. If your anger prevents you from getting into situations that will turn out hurtful with the same people you're angry at, then it's protecting you. If you get angry enough to finally tell somebody that they hurt you everytime they talk to you, then it's productive anger. But once anger loses its productivity, when you're walking around in a rage just 'because', then it's probably past time you let the feelings go so you can go on about your life.

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I do not deserve to feel better.

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We all deserve to feel better. We're all worthy of being accepted by others, worthy of receiving and giving Universal and more personal love. Being healthy and at least content in life is the 'normal' state for existence - pain is the body & mind's way of letting you know you need healing - not want healing, need healing.

Blessings & peace to you Fuzzybear. Hope you feel better soon.