Thanks Rohag!!!

I don't know what's harder right now...part of me says go ahead and sign into chat and see what he has to say. Part of me is scared to know the answer. Part of me shrugs my shoulder and think's " I yam what I yam" and if he does hate me so what?

My daughter says he's very depressed and on many many drugs for his conditions...I know he's been asking a lot of medical stuff like do I suffer migraines and such. She says he's very down on life right now...and I really don't think I can mentally deal with that part of his life right now. I'm still trying to re-find my own way.. I've been dealing with a lot of grief issues that are just now coming out about my immed family and am just coming out of being numb from so many deaths at once.

PCYCHRIS: I don't have a T or a counselar....I only have PC here and the kindness of you all.. ( or ya'll as we say in the south ) I go to a free clinic right now until my disibility kicks in...so don't have anyone to talk to other than coming here.

The big question of why did I give him up for adoption? Because he would have been aborted otherwise. He would never have even lived...I was basically a surragate mother. Do I tell him that? Or do I let him believe I gave him for the best? I don't know how to answer that question...and in his current issues with Bi polar, mania, and Schitziphrenia...I don't know if I even should.

I feel soooo lost and alone in this....And noone in my personal life has a clue how bad I feel right now.