mellijoy, hi

jmo/jme...Army brat and I'm also a Veteran

Being the spouse of a career military person takes a special kind of person. It takes getting used to being "second."
It also takes some planning on the part of each one of you so your marriage remains happily intact...and your career is not adversely impacted.

The suggestion by TheByzantine about couples therapy is a good idea. Many issues can be addressed and solutions worked out that will benefit both of you.

mellijoy, in all honesty, perhaps part of his depression is from the moves...but a bigger factor may be not being able to find a job because of the economy.
This is not your fault...it's something many military families face with reassignments.
It's also something that just plain comes with being in the military. It takes the spouse some time to make the adjustment, but it will take some honest communication.

Please stop taking the blame for this--he knew, or at least had an idea, of what it was going to be like...the reality of it can be a challenge, but it can also be met.

Your love for him is obvious and so is your desire for him to be happy. He has the responsibility of finding the things he can do to make things easier for himself--it requires being creative and willing to do legwork.
Photography. He can investigate the possibilities of photographing weddings, graduations, etc. at reduced fees in order to get established...part time work in the Post Exchange hopefully in the camera department, any number of things that *he* can do to establish himself and start a support/professional network.
Starting at the bottom might be tough but it is a start.

If he refuses to attend couples therapy, go yourself. At minimum you will be able to let go of the guilt and blame. It will also enable you to focus more clearly on your duties as the soldier...your mind has to be able to concentrate on your responsibilities.
Seeing the difference it will make in you will most likely make it easier for him to go with you.

My best wishes,
Catherine