My husband and I have also had bad experiences when staying with my parents. On one occasion, my dad drank too much, cut me down, and tried to beat my husband up. It made the already distant relationship I had with my dad even more strained. Since then, we haven't gone out to the town where my parents live at all, and my husband says if we ever do, we are staying in a motel, not with them. I see them when they come out here, which is about 3 times per year. And my husband usually makes an appearance once. But i know there's tension between them still. Every time i know they are coming for a visit. . .i get anxious, uptight, and feel sick, not knowing when the next "incident" will happen. I'm sorry you're having to deal with a difficult family situation yourself. It's hard.