Rapunzel - some of those things sound like him but not all. He will talk about it and he can control it sometimes.

I talked to him today. Once I caught him in a calm mood I kinda laid it on him. I told him that I felt like his anger was controlling me and explained that it seems like whenever he doesn't get his way he gets upset. I gave him some examples and he apologized but I said I wasn't accepting just a simple "I'm sorry" this time.

I'm getting ready to go off to grad school about 7 hours away here in 6-8 months. I said that there was no way I would move 7 hours away, have him relocate and try to find a job and then have nothing change and then both of us be across the country. He admitted that he wouldn't want to be with me if I acted like that.

I kind of gave him an ultimatum. Basically if I don't see any real effort before then then I am moving by myself. And for the first time in the year that we have been dating I saw him get teary eyed. We talked while at lunch that way I was safe from him screaming or overreacting. I think if we wouldn't have been in public he probably would have cried which would be a first. I told him that I was afraid that he wouldn't take me seriously. I said that I was being 100% honest and that I was not about to live feeling controlled and powerless just because we have fun together most of the time.

I think it may have finally dawned on him that I will in fact leave if this doesn't change. But I also told him that he has to not like it in himself for it to stop and that I wont nag because if he doesn't wanna change, he wont.

So tonight we were sitting on the couch and he asked if I wanted to play Super Mario and I made him pinky swear he wouldn't flip. So we played for a good 2 hours and he didn't cuss or anything. I think he kind of realized that if he just chilled it would make me happy, which in turn makes him happy lol.

Granted this is only one day so I'm not getting my hopes up or anything. And I hate doing things like ultimatums or threats but I feel like that's the only way to show him how bad his anger is. Maybe when the smoke clears a little I will talk to him about going to see a T. He went once and the woman he saw said it would be better to go to couples but since it is through the school you can maybe get one appointment per semester. I just don't think he has anyone to talk to about it and I would advise him to come here but this is like my own little place and I feel like if we were both on the same site we wouldn't be able to open up fully. Well hopefully something happens cause I might snap on him soon if it doesn't.