Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoon6
It is interesting that you bring this up here.
|
You wrote this.
"I always feel like I have to work and make sure everyone is OK and I dont enjoy the play myself."
I think I may have slipped into protective mode here with you. It's something that I have to watch myself with in all of my friendships. I would like for you to have the freedom to enjoy the play yourself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMoon6
I have to say no to my repaying my mother's debt to society. I do as much as I do as a mother, a supermom, because I want to have the family I dreamed of, the family I wanted. Yes, in some ways she taught me what I DONT want to do, but the dynamics in my house growing up is what I want to do differently. I want to be different than her, but I dont have to try very hard because I AM very different than her, I dont even have to try to fix her errors. I know her errors are hers.
|
I'm so glad to hear this. And relieved...
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoon6
Im sorry that you had to watch your mother's pain and suffering. Im sure she gave all she had to your brother. It is sort of the same thing, she didnt take care of her needs and you came away with the feeling that your needs are secondary. Its as if she died trying. She must have felt very guilty if she thought of herself when your brother needed so much. Do you think she (and you) might be different today if she had taken time for herself, or learned how to care for herself, possibly allowed someone else to do the caring for your brother now and then?
|
I think there is a good chance that she would still be alive today. I really believe that all of the diseases were at least in part caused by stress. She would always try to hide her emotional pain, but I was always watching and saw it very clearly. As for me, I kind of like the way I turned out. I've always been in here, but needed a little adjusting in my thinking and behavior to find my way out. And that's what therapy did for me. I just wish I'd done it twenty years ago.
I'm sorry I hijacked here, Blue. I was just worried.