@TheByzantine - I do agree, changes would have to be made. As far as therapy goes, it's not going to happen. I am completely cash strapped at the moment for one. Secondly, her mother has imprinted her with the theory that therapy is for psychopaths and alcoholics. I brought this up once before when she was going through some of her own things and she immediately shot it down citing her mothers influence.

@Bloom3 - I think this is the route I'm going to take, if any. I am obviously very emotionally invested in this situation and I feel like if I am on the phone with her, hearing her voice, discussing these still pretty fresh topics with her, I may let my emotions speak rather than my mind. Emails at least let me really think about what I'm going to say before I say it rather than going off emotion.

@Belle1979 - The curiosity is killing me for sure. But like you said, I feel like while talking to her I'll be happy. But I know that later on I'll be sitting in bed alone thinking about everything and worrying myself and being frustrated with it all. It would be hard to go into a dialog with her right now without hoping we'll fix things. I'm still trying to figure out if I even WANT to fix things.

@PsyChris - I do think she is someone that would be willing to talk about things. But in her email she said "I hope things are looking up for you". I feel like she is showing me pity. Like our breakup totally destroyed me and she just walked away like nothing even happened. Before we broke up I lost my job, perhaps that's what she was talking about. I just, I dunno... I think she feels like I am some pathetic person now. I feel like she's going to talk down to me. The whole "hope things are looking up" is a contradiction, because the main thing that brought me down was losing her. If she was truely hoping things were "looking up" for me, we wouldn't have broken up and she would have worked through me trying to find a new job together.

I dunno, I haven't answered her yet and I don't want to keep her waiting forever. I think I am going to write her something short and without much emotion attached to it. Like Belle said, try to play it cool. There's still a very big part of me that wants to ignore it all together, because I know I'm opening the door to a lot of pain and anguish. But, I am going to at least hear her out.