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I can't seem to write anything anymore... can't play my flute anymore... can't even get enough concentration to read anymore.
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Eating disorders affect the mind and therefore performance. When you are feeling better your performance will start to return to what you are used to.
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It's much better to just sit around and waste my time--time that other people actually deserve and struggle for, time that is given to me as opposed to someone else.
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Eating disorders often make one feel ashamed, and the shame has its own negative effects.
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Maybe I'm just in a tight spot and need a little extra help. Although this blows my "self-sufficiency" motto out the window.
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Do you tend toward perfectionism? It can then be especially hard to admit that one may need help, and to ask for that help.
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What am I able to contribute to the world?
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You want to contribute but, right now,don't see how you can. You know, kids often can't see their path towards making a contribution. When one isn't doing as well as one would want and expect, it can be even harder to see or even believe that there is a path.
It takes time.
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But I just had this realization come smack me in the face--no, I'm not any better, I'm only getting worse.
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Setbacks are discouraging, especially large or frequent ones. They can undermine your self-image or your plan to succeed, your visualization of success.
Unfortunately, progress usually is two steps forward, one step back; one step forward, two steps back; one step forward. There are always setbacks. Nevertheless, there can still be progress, even after bad events. Even when you feel hopeless, there can be progress.
Whether or not there is progress at the moment, I and others here are interested and want to listen. Thank you for letting us know how you are; please continue to post on how you are doing.