Bill3: Perfectionism is a big problem of mine. I can't get things done because I can't get them perfect, so I'll throw them away or won't turn things in... Generally, my work is "hit and miss"; sometimes I'll write the best essay, and other times it's like a "C" or lower. I've noticed that's it's pretty strange--it's not like I'm putting "less" effort into things, they just don't come out very well when I'm in a slump (or I have no energy for any effort). Besides, kids that get an "A" on a paper generally get an "A" on all their papers, right? Sometimes I'll do better than everyone, and other times my work and efficiency is mediocre at best... And during a slump, that's when the "do it perfectly, or don't do it at all" mentality really sets in.

And... maybe 17 years isn't much of a life to reflect on (I know it's not), but... I'd like something. Maybe' I'm just impatient, or jealous, because I'm no child prodigy, that's for sure!

Matt C: I guess I can use other boards on PC because I know I have problems with bipolar... but... my eating is giving me a great deal of distress and making things a lot worse... Haha, yesterday I ate about a dozen corn muffins, 4 pieces of toast with butter & jam, a giant apple fritter, and probably 2 cups of fried rice in a sitting. It's pretty... disgusting. I don't know, is it the depression that affects my eating, or my eating that affects my depression? Maybe they're one in the same. But, sheesh, I can't stop this worrying. I worry and worry all day about food (I kept myself in my room for 3 hours just to keep myself away from the kitchen) and then at night I'll B/P, often more than once. I even had dreams about eating food (maybe it's more of a nightmare, because I was so nervous when I awoke that I'd just eaten an entire German Chocolate Cake, and I was very relieved after realizing it was only a dream). It's pretty ridiculous. I'm lower than dirt, and too embarrassed to leave the house... I remember taking gym class, I'd always change in a bathroom stall, and wear long pants and a long-sleeve shirt of sweatshirt... Always taking a "F" because I was too nervous to get up in front of everyone and embarrass myself horribly... I'm really glad I'm not in gym anymore, because that was a miserable class.

With all that said, though, I must admit I'm doing a little better today... Last night I was strangely content for no apparent reason at all--I'm not really content anymore, but not as bad as I was when I started this thread... so... I don't know! I actually had the energy to get dressed instead of sulking in my pajamas all day, so that's a plus, I suppose. I just have to get through today without binging, and I think I'll be... stable, at least.