Staying at the house was okay. Few memories just bombarded me but not too many so was still able to sleep a little bit.

Christmas - I have had two drinks - first time in 4 years and to be honest it has not made me feel good so am back drinking water. It's not something that i will do again. I wont give in and become the person that I was. I don't want to be. I was happy.

He text me this morning (earlier than he would normally get up so god knows what he was doing) "Just wanted to say Merry Christmas and I hope you have a good day"... It sucks so much, makes me miss him and want him back (have days of not wanting to have anything to do with him and then I feel I do still love him)

He has the link to this forum but I don't care, am not sensoring what I write as this is my out let for everything.

I would still offer the second chance and I just wish he would fight for me, if not in love then as friends

Hope everyone is having a good day, just about to eat lunch over here so am sure to post more later