I'm also going through a simlar situation. WHat do you mean "he brought her here for Christmas". To be honest I don't think you should bother trying to save this marriage. I don't think it's salvagable. I know you must be in terrible pain and I understand how the holidays are hard to bear. I appreciate your honesty in saying you married him for the wrong reasons- you're right. If your fights get to the point where he's abusive, this is all the more reason, not to be with him. I came to PC for the same reason as you - because I was tormented by thoughts of the other woman.