I can't really relate to much of what you posted (about being a male etc), However I can give some insight (I think) to answer your question "Is that a common reaction" and possibly a few things to cope with child abuse.

Sadly, it is. If you were abused as a child, it seems that feeling stays with you forever. It leaves you with a lot of mixed emotions.

Self-esteem/Feelings: Feeling that you arent a worthwhile person. Feeling bad, dirty or ashamed of yourself. Feeling self destructive. You have a hard time dealing with feelings as well. Don't know how you feel, afraid of how you feel, worrying about going crazy, experiencing a very narrow range of feelings, experiencing intrusive memories, images, nightmares or reliving past traumatic events.

Some long term effects of abuse consist of (but aren't limited too): emotional problems, behavioral problems, poor performance at school, further abuse etc.

Any sort of abuse has it's effects whether its sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse. I may be able to tell you more if you wish to disclose what type of child abuse you suffered from. However, You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.

Take care! *hugs*