First I would like to say that I'm sorry about your past childhood and that you were abused at all, let alone multiple times.

Getting treatment for it is probably your best option, as it could get to the root of your problems.

There are a lot of things that stem from sexual abuse. Here is an excerpt from a pamphlet: If it happened back then, why do I have to deal with it now. There are many factors that work against children gettign the help they need at the time of the abuse. Some children seek support, but are met with reactions such disbelief, lack of concern, and even blame. Despite their efforts to seek help, the abuse may continue or even get worse. Other children, for a number of understandable reasons do not seek help at the time of the abuse. Abusers may scare children by threatening to retaliate or by insinuating that the child will not be believed. The abuser may also confuse the child by behaving as if the abuse were 'normal' or by implying the abuse is the childs fault. Sexual abuse of a child can NEVER involve genuine mutual consent and, therefore, can NEVER be the childs fault. Whether or not the abuse was dealt with at the time, its damaging effect may still be present years later.

There is a long list of side effects which stem from sexual abuse. Feeling ashamed of yourself, being afraid of your feelings, experiencing memories, images or reliving the past traumatic events. Experiencing times you feel as though you've 'left' your body, intentionally hurting yourself or your body. (The list can go on)

The follwing are excellent sources of information about childhood sexual abuse:

The Courage to heal. By E. Bass & L. Davis
The Courage to Heal Workbook. By L. Davis
Victims No Longer. By M. Lew
Outgrowing The Pain: A book for and about adults abused as children. By E. Gil
Trauma and recovery. By J.L. Herman
The Sexual Healing Journey. By W. Maltz