I hope you have a lovely Christmas.

Playing it cool is very difficult. Feel good about yourself for the fact that you are a nice guy by the sounds of it, loving and caring.

My feelings now are that you can't go back. If there is to be a future then it has to be a fresh start. New Beginnings....

If you do chose to get back with her take it slowly and see what the future will bring. The old issues can be talked about eventually but for now try to just enjoy life.