I relate also.

For what it's worth, I've been introduced to a technique that sounds good but may or may not work, depending.

It's a version of the "bells of mindfulness" It's that you pick a sound that happens occasionally in your environment. Could be a train going by, whatever. Then, when you hear that sound, you check in with yourself, and take a mindful moment to get grounded, to calm down. The idea is that since it's so easy to get into an anxiety spiral without realizing it, you train yourself to calm yourself in response to an external signal. (Rather than waiting for you yourself to realize that you're getting anxious, because you probably won't notice it till too late.)

So it's a good idea. The downside for me is that I find it very hard to discipline myself to do this.

But anyway.

I totally get what you're talking about, re unhealthy and healthy ways to deal with agitation and anxiety.

I'm still working on ways to push myself toward using only the healthy ways.

Sigh.

-Far