I posted this in another area and maybe it was the wrong place. Since I am new I cannot delete posts. I appreciate your patience and feedback.

Greetings. I am a sexual addict who also suffers from severe anxiety. I have been seeing a therapist on and off for about 4 years. I am a married 40 year old man. The therapist is a little older woman. I have always been very open, honest and straight forward with her regarding issues or acting out I have done. My modality is exhibitionism. I recently began trying new combinations of medication to help with the anxiety. A side effect of the SSRIs is that I can not ejaculate, erections are no problem. My psychiatrist, seperate from my therapist, prescribed me Viagra to help.
Over the couple months, I have on occasion, been able to see up my therapists dress or skirt (thats all she wears) and able to see her panties very clearly. As a straight forward person I let her know I could, not for shock value, but because I actually respect and care about her as a person. I feel maybe we are more friends then client and therapist. 2 weeks ago she leaned forward for something and I saw her right nipple exposed as her blouse and bra pulled away from her chest. Again I told her and she said I must of been mistaken. I assure you, I was not.
This last week I had to increase one of the anxiety meds and picked up my new prescription for Viagra. Without paying attention, when I got home I took all my meds, including a full Viagra (not the 1/4 pill I was suggested to start at. I went to my therapists appointment and we immediately began this discussion of my inability to ejaculate and I told her about the Viagra AND that I had accidently take one that morning. We continued the discussion and as things would have it I began to become aroused. I was just wearing a pair gym shorts and it was clearly visible as I became more and more so. I told her it was happening so as to not cause a problem and we continued the talk. I caught her looking at my erection several times and looking away. Still the talk continued and I tried to hide it with my arms and crossing my legs. But it wasnt helping, finally the dicussion was too much for me with all my frustrations over the last couple weeks and I asked her if I should go to the restroom and masturbate. She agreed that was an idea and suggested I cover myself with a small pillow and walk there. I was not comfortable with that so I asked if I could do it right there in the office. She agreed that was probably safer and got up to leave. She took her time and I was almost out of control at that point seeing her glance again. Before she got to the door I exposed myself and began. She stopped at the door to get something, turned and looked and saw me exposed and in progress. She slowly looked away and left. I never ejaculated because I was nervous. I thought she was going to call the police, come back and chastise me or fire me as a client. What happened instead was she came back 5 minutes later, knocked and asked if I was ok. I answered the door and told her no, I was not that I couldnt and I was clearly upset by not only my frustration but ny my actions. Here is where I thought she was going to let me have it. I apologized over and over and let know I was at fault and it was unacceptible. Her response was, "Its ok". She came back in and we finished the session and I left with the next appointment scheduled.
I know what most of you will say but I just need to see it. I should get another therapist shouldnt I? First of all, she knows I am a sex addict and into exhibitionism and she allowed me to see her several times. She should know what an addict such as myself is looking for. Second, should she not have kicked me out as soon as I got the erection? Or left the room herself? Did she not just basically allow me to act out with her? Let me ask some random questions if I may. Is it possible my sex therapist is also an exhibitionist or sex addict and that is why she is in this field? Is it possible she has been taking advantage of my condition? If I go back will it escalate? Will she come forward and actually try to engage me physically? I am confused as she has been very neutral and has never led me to believe for one second she had an issue herself or was becoming interested in me. I look forward to the feedback. I apologize if this is too graphic as I am new but I think some of the details were needed to convery exactly how things have transpired. Thank you all. -K