(((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))

You deserve to feel better! I know that you don't think you do, and I feel the same way most of the time, but you are a wonderful person and you deserve to feel good and to like yourself.

I know it is much easier said than done, but I do believe in forgiving someone who didn't know your trigges and unintentionally hurt you. If they didn't even know that it would hurt you, then aren't they blameless since they didn't mean to cause any harm? They would probably feel awful about it too, and I bet they would try to learn your triggers so that they don't hurt you again. But if it's hard to trust someone as much after they have hurt you, I think that is perfectly understandable.

One of the girls that I work with intentionally hurt me pretty badly physically yesterday. She doesn't know or care that I was pretty close to already having PTSD, and she may have done more psychological damage than physical. I forgive her though. She is a troubled youth who hasn't been able to learn to care about or respect others, and doesn't know a better way to solve her problems than by demonstrating that she can come out on top in a display of physical power. She will never apologize.

Parents are different because you depended on them and counted on them to love you and take care of you and help you to grow up healthy and whole, and it is particularly traumatic to be let down by your parents.

I guess I do bear grudges, but they are pretty much against people I had trusted, who hurt me a long time ago. And I wish that I could let go, because grudges are a heavy and painful thing to have to carry around with you for year after year.