Maybe it would help if you can identify your feeling and where it is coming from. It sounds like reminders of religion and Christianity are reminding you of a difficult time in your life. That association is based on your experiences. For many people religion brings comfort and peace. I am sorry that you are deprived of that experience due to what happened in your past.

Working through intense feelings isn't easy, but the only way out is through. If you are afraid, facing what you fear diminishes the fear. Acting opposite to emotion give your power back to you instead of allowing the emotion to control you. If it is very hard, it would be a good topic for therapy.