it sounds as if you and your wife are undergoing a ton of changes in life and that is certainly stressful for both of you: getting married, moving to a new country, finishing school and job hunting--those are all huge changes in and of themselves! maybe just realizing that will help a little? rather than telling your wife she is not supportive enough, which will come off as critical, why not turn it around and make an "I" statement. for instance, something like "I would like more support". also, it sounds as if you need to talk about expectations in your relationship. you have an expectation that she is going to help you with things you want done, but it sounds like she expects you to do those things yourself. i think once you air your expectations then you can come up with something that works for both of you. our expectations can be largely shaped by what roles we saw modeled to us by our parents. if your mom was really supportive of your dad in the daily things like you speak of, then it's natural you'd expect that from your wife. her parents may not have interacted that way though. maybe her dad was more independent and if he wanted something he did it himself rather than asking for his wife's help. neither way is right or wrong but you guys just have to figure out what works for you.