so, I've been thinking more about this (can't shake the feeling of the dream, so I can't help thinking about it...) and I realized the place we were at looked a little like my mom's building. That kind of unlocked the whole dream for me, when I realized that.

I have a lot of abandonment issues, obviously. I fear that T will abandon me the way my mother always has. And in some ways, I am right. My T *will* some day "abandon" me, it's not a forever relationship, right? Anway, I have that fear, and yes, moonrise, you are right on when you say I also have the fear that I am too needy for T and that she will abandon me right now because of that.

I think the sweater I was knitting in the dream is important. I think it represents the trauma work, and all the other work, really, that I'm doing with T. That if she "abandons" me, all that work will be undone, unraveled. It's about me being afraid I will not get the chance to finish the work I have started with T, because it is so hard, and also because there is this timeline that I am working under and I don't know what will happen if the time runs out and the work isn't done. It may well be that I won't get to to finish, not with this T, that is a very real fear of mine, because of course the idea of starting the trauma work over with a new T is...inconceivable, at this point.

Anyway. That all kind of became clear to me this morning, and I had a good long cry about it, lol.

I have a session with T this afternoon and I hope I am able to talk about this with her, but it will be difficult. Thank you all for your posts.