(((((((((Petunia)))))))))
i'm sorry about your emotional pain now . Thank you for writing. It's so sad to not have a place to 'be' emotionally- it feels like that all the time to me unless i'm in a strong part like the work person (part 'S.') and the person (part 'K') that people call another name and belongs to the hiking club - And i lose all the time with them. i thought if i wrote to you that advice it wouldn't be helpful or healthy.
i always cry and point to the window in T's office and say "There's no place for me out there."
It's so sad because there's no way to help it besides distract yourself . There are good things to do to distract yourself though- but the deep pain is always there, for me anyways.

It is so hard to try to live when we're all broken into so many parts. It would seem that people would treat us better but instead there's a way drs group us with crazy people, liars and criminals. There's the ADA laws but even lawyers will say that these laws don't have 'teeth'- they have no power whatsoever in any court - only if it's against a large organization. How do you measure emotional pain- like i went through yesterday? Also the amount of abuse we would have when our mental health records are used against us by lawyers in court would hardly be worth going through- even if we ended up winning a case against a dr., which would be a longshot, (understatement).

Back where i live there is no help, there is no comfort or way out or equality of treatment. It's always understood that i'm lying- i have to keep defending myself over and over and still said to be lying.
it's impossibly hard to live in this world. i have no idea how anyone that has multiple personalities does it. It must be because they don't have many health problems or are somehow able to find these exceptional drs to treat them.
i'd love to know their names.

??????????????
how does anyone manage living?

so tired of creating parts to survive the pain everyday and never having a place to be a real person with needs like anyone else. i'm not a liar - just a person in pain.

Take care,
kerria