Hi WP,

I have had quite a few "unplanned" sessions. They seem to occur less now than earlier in my therapy. I have been with T for three years now and also working through trauma. I would say it took at least 2 (if not 2.5) of those years to really trust T on the level of depth that I need to heal. I think it is a good sign that you are trusting in the relationship to help you change how you deal with these issues and to learn how to recognize the feelings that are aroused. There is so much hard work involved and it is quite individualized as to when we might need an extra session or conversation or contact in some form.
I hope you don't get too annoyed at yourself. Needing your T is okay. Trusting takes a lot of work. It took me a long time to understand that it is okay to need others, and that doesn't make me a bad person. I am trying so hard not to judge myself and my needs, but sometimes I "slip" back into those destructive patterns. Sometimes those of us who were abused internalize the experience of the abuser and think of ourselves as abusers. But it isn't abusive to take care of yourself in a kind and loving way and it isn't abusive to ask for help in seeking that care.