I'm not sure what to say, this is my first time on a Forum. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 with mixed and rapid cycling episodes last Tuesday. i haven't stopped crying in over a month. I only discovered I am bipolar after ruining my marriage and my family in an Extreme hypersexual Manic Episode. He left me and the kids yesturday. We have been best friends since we were 15, and I killed him with my affair. I feel like my heart should just stop beating any second because it's so broken. It took me a week to come down from being Manic and realize what I had done. I don't understand how I can live my life for almost 40 years and in one month so quickly turn into someone I don't even know, someone I hate! almost 20 years of marriage and our two kids lives ruined in the span of one month.