redredblueblue, it's really neat the way you loved your grandmother.Mine was my best friend from the time I was very young til she passed away and I miss her still . But one thing that helps is I keep her picture on my makeup table and in my Bible where I see it regularly every day. This keeps my "special" memeories of her "alive". Maybe you could also keep some pictures of your grandmother where you could enjoy those fond memories as well.