I don't usually advise crisis lines, because I'd probably never call one, so it feels hypocritical. Still, I agree with IrishMe if you don't have anyone else to turn to, because you ARE valuable and loved for who you are. I cannot comment on what your father said for fear of what I might say. Suffice it so say that I would shelter you from ever again hearing such words if I could. I wish, too, that I could mend the hurt. A hug right now seems superficial, not enough. But I'm here. Feel free to PM me any time.