I've been married a long time and I've learned a few things along the way. I understand that with this medium it's sometimes difficult to verbalize what you mean. In the examples you gave, and statement you made, it sounds like you want someone to pick up the work load when you get tired/overwhelmed. Sometimes a partner can do these things for you. BUT you need to be very clear WHEN you need help and WHAT you'd like your partner to do.

Your post is very vague. I do not mean this as an insult, it's an observation. It makes me wonder if YOU know what YOU want her to do. If you're unsure, how in the heck is she supposed to know? Before you "confront" her, make sure you know what it is you want from her.

You sound very resentful. It would be very easy in this situation to let your frustration/stress from the move/marriage/life transition be projected onto her for slights either real or imagined.

We humans do not have the ability to read minds. My husband and I have been together for nearly 30 years, he can finish my sentences. We can communicate huge amounts of information with a mere look... HOWEVER just because I think he should know something doesn't mean he can be held accountable if I've never told him.

A small example: to me doing the dishes means washing the dishes, cleaning off all the counter tops, table, sweeping the floor, cleaning out the sink when you're finished and taking out the trash. For YEARS I would get annoyed because when I'd ask him to do the dishes, he'd just wash the dishes. I would storm out into the kitchen and angrily do the rest, then remain angry with him because he didn't do the job properly. He should have known (in my mind) the rest was included but guess what, he didn't until I told him.

The last sentence in your original post speaks volumes. I know you mention that she's a bit younger than you, but "shutting yourself off from her for a bit because I am hurt and annoyed" is very passive aggressive. It's childish, hurtful and most importantly it doesn't help either of you. I speak from experience, this was the tool I used most frequently in the early years of my marriage. Believe me when I say this is a HUGE waste of time and it doesn't help getting any of your needs met. If you want this (or any) relationship to work, break that cycle NOW.