Had a good morning down the beach.

Came home and continued to pack up the house. Then I got all sad again, even a few tears. I miss what we had and just know that it's never going to be like that for me again. I have no intentions of opening my heart up ever again (have said it before to myself but this time I mean it)
90% of the time I like being alone now, like my own thoughts and dreams.
Think I'll use this house as equity to design, draw up and build a dream home
I miss his company and the love, he says he loves me as a friend and that's really nice. I love him as a friend too. I am just disapointed in him, like he was a small child that has done something wrong. I wish he had of fought for us like a man.

I'm sure it's just the packing that has brought me down and not that I want him back because I don't really. Not now after all the hurt.

My mother and step dad got back togther 40 years later - after both being married twice in between, so the future can hold wonderful things.

Am going out tonight so that should cheer me up no end