Thank you so much ya'll....I'm floundering with this but know I"ll muddle thru. It would prob be a lot easier for me to do if I didn't let it depress me more than I already am.

I gave up about 10pm, sat with the IM's on not saying nothing. I left him with the parting words,
" If you ever have anything you want to ask or say..and it's easier in a letter or an email...please do when ever comfy... Have a good night...sleep tight"

I feel like I've let him down some way I've cried most of the night...but have woken up a bit angry. Anger at adopted mom, anger at myself, angry at him too a bit I think....I wonder again if I'm equipped to handle this right now. I've put off starting my new meds due to this ( along with the fear of my allergic reaction) and just feel very lost and alone in all of this. Like a fish out of water....

I"m scared to ask anymore questions with his negitive answers and just don't know how to proceed at all... <big sigh>

Tumnus.....could you please enlighten me either here or via PM about connectiing with your lost parent?? Maybe if I understood a bit more of the process from his end it might help me pull him out a bit? I would imagine there is a process such as there is with grief? Any more suggestions you have or info that would help me understand what he may be going thru would sure help I think. I want to reach out but am so uncertain how to proceed.

I haven't told him yet that I am currently clinically depressed myself, and understand a bit of what he's dealing with...I will be researching bi-polar here shortly to further understand him...I just feel very very lost in this.

I wish I had T.... But I'm sooooo grateful for everyone here at PC willing to help me walk thru this...