Hi, I'm new here, just signed up to get this issue out there anonymously, and try to come to terms with what is going on, and where to go. I'm 32, my dad is 65 and my mom is about to turn 70.

My dad has had to care at home for my mom for the last 3 1/2 years. My mom has survived brain cancer and all the treatment, but it has left her neurologically impaired. She is in a wheelchair and needs help with most daily functions. She is able to feed herself but can't really get around or take care of herself.

this summer things started to change and communication from my dad dropped significantly. My sister and I saw clues, and began to suspect he was seeing another woman. This fall while I was away working I got a text message from him that my mom had an incident and was in the er, and would be going to a nursing home from there. she's now in an assistant living home, and will be moving to a nursing home in about a month.

my dad has admitted to pursuing another woman and I have told him that I don't think that is right, if he is already married, and based on he raised me. I question his priorities in regards to my mom's care because he is pursuing another woman. I am angry because I think that this other relationship caused him to rule out all other options as far as care for my mom, like a live in aide or both of them moving to a community where my mom can have assistance. I'm also angry because in the process of all of this he has constantly held things back, lying or giving half truths about his "new life".

I'm at a point now where I don't know if I want him in my life. I don't trust him, I don't agree with what he has done. I worry about my mom's care as well. I don't think I can just cut him out of my life, because he is in charge of my mom's care, and if I ignore that, I believe I will be doing her a disservice. My mom is more with it than he gives her credit for, and he's also hurting her. Oh and the stresses of all of this has caused me to have a IBS flair up, and is causing stress in my marriage.

How do I come to terms with the way I feel about him, and what I feel he has done do our family? There's a part of me that says I want to write him a letter, tell him I'm not proud of him any more, and I don't want him in my family's life.. and then start seeing a counselor to resolve my internal issues...

A lot as gone on in the last few months, I've written it all out, but it's over 4 pages long, and I don't know if I should post all that.

thanks.