Trying to be me, honey, you sound like you hurt so much that you've stopped registering it. Can you get to an emergency room? Please, please, please consider it! You are far too valuable to leave so close to any edge. If I gcould just get my arms into the disk drive I would wrap them around you and take you to the hospital myself.
Please don't let this disease tell you that you aren't worth fighting for. Hang in there, hon. Come on, get in and let someone else take some of the punches for you. Like the song says, sometimes you can't make it on your own. HUUUUUUGGGGGGSSSSS and no I won't let go!!!