god, i really feel for you, was in THATmood myself a few weeks ago. just felt like screaming and pulling hair out. I am unemployed too, trying to get disability-also have sle lupus- for almost 4 years, and havent been getting real treatment for the bipolar,anxiety,ocd like i need. Mental ILLNESS is expensive!!!!!!! the sh!tting insurance i have thru husbands job has seperate 1000 deductible for any psy. issues. Here there is a place called spectracare that is income based mental health care, but im on the list and must wait 3 months to speak to pdr., thru a tv meeting at the clinic!!! I dont know, its soo hard to get help,so expensive to take care of ourselves. i wish you the best, and let us know if you do find a way to recieve care, some type of program for you thru the state/gov. that will assist you, take care