Crazy session! I went in there in a very good, playful mood - T kept saying I seemed very upbeat. I asked T to think of anything that she'd like to revisit that we have discussed, T said she'd think about it but of course wanted me to answer that question - so we talked about a few things, including the EMDR. I asked T if she thought we should try it again, T said yes if I feel ready - I said I do. So T said we'd discuss it more and figure out if we want to do it for the same trauma, since we didn't get very far in September, or for something different that's come up for me.

I then asked T if she has any more therapy modes, T said any "tricks", that we could try - T said that was it for her. I told T that during EMDR and also a few weeks ago, T asked me about some feelings in my body - I told T that I think this would be very helpful in helping me be more aware of my body. T agreed and thanked me for bringing it up - she said she often forgets about that aspect of therapy when she's not doing EMDR and agreed that it's good to not just look at the mind but the body as well. And then she asked me what I was feeling then in my body! I said kinda tingly but in a good way, because I was excited!
(Edit: We also discussed trying traditional psychoanalysis - I'm curious and want to try it. T agreed but said she wants to discuss it more first before we do it.)

So then we went back to my mother - I actually expressed some anger toward her, that's a first for me - T and I were both smiling about that! T had some really good suggestions for ways I can take control of the relationship more and not be on the receiving end, but instead put my mother on the receiving end more, so I'll see if that works out.

At the end of the session, I reminded T again to consider the question I asked and also to think about if there's anything she's wanted to know that I've never discussed (my apologies to whoever posted that in another thread, I don't remember). T said she'd think about it, but she said that she believes that these topics come full-circle when the time is right - that even in a session, when we veer off-topic, that it all is a part of the big picture in her mind.

So we stood up, wishing each other a Happy New Year. We hugged, as we've been doing for awhile now, and I thanked T for everything. T pulled back much sooner than normal - I thought she was done hugging me, so I pulled back, too. But T reached back out and said she wanted to give me a kiss, then planted one on my cheek! I think it was because we were wishing each other a Happy New Year. And here in New York, everyone kisses each other on the cheek - it's very common, even in my professional organization it happens. I wasn't expecting it, but it was very nice of T!

As I was putting my coat on, I told T that it didn't seem like I'd been seeing her for over 8 months - T agreed and asked if it seemed longer or shorter to me - I said definitely shorter, T said for her as well.

And then as I was leaving, the girl waiting for T gave T a big smile as she walked into T's office, and I felt that pang of jealousy that someone else was now with T. Ah, the joys of therapy!

Happy New Year, all!