Hey all,

Newbie here. Some borderline traits mixed with Scizoid/Avoidant.

Have a lot of trouble managing relationships with people. I have become totally avoidant and deliberately socially isolate myself. Its easier. I have always modified my external behaviour to be accepted by others but no matter how much personal modification I do its never enough for people so I am done with them.

One thing that angers me terribly is when people dont realise how much I hate being who I am and want to remove myself from being the way I am. I dont mean making suicide threats because I dont do that. What kills me is the way people imagine we enjoy being like this and want attention

If they could walk in our shoes for a day and se how exhausting it is and how much self conrol we need to employ just to contain our offensive personalities they would die of sock. It really grinds my gears how people misjudge us so that is why I have withdrawn from the world but they will not leave me in peace.

Yesterday someone wanted to call to my house (sibling duty call) I cant stand being just entertained out of duty so I managed to put off the person. THEN someone else that I had put off earlier (boyfriends friend whon wanted to call over when my boyfriend was at work to which i declined) came over anyway. He monopolosed the whole evening and stayed the night. My boyfriend got off work early and was there when the friend arrived unannounced. I contained my intense irritation. The friend was all dressed to impress. And I caught him taking some sneaky looks where he should not have been looking.

After a teeth gritting evening he then stayed the night. My BF had to be in work early and I drove him. The FRIEND was still in the house when I got home.

I want him out so I can have my house to myself. I am so angry.