Thanks BH- Yes, his comments have more to do with him than with me and it is hurtful. Im some ways, he is like my mother and the feeling I get is familiar. He less narcissitic and cares for me more, but it is there.

The feeling inthe dream that I got from ftt is that she would protect me. I didnt realize I felt that way, but I do feel she protedcts me from difficult feelings Im not ready to feel yet. I walk on eggshells here at times, but I have come to just be myself and let the chips fall as they may and I feel much better that way, more confident.

I seem to be going through this phase of remembering my dreams! I often dont remmeber them either!

I shut down very young, apparently, from my feelings. So young that I cant remmeber feeling anything for my mother. My youngest memories are of not wanting her near me. Sadder and hurt feelings are not accessible now. That was why I was thinking of different techniques to use to get to those feelings. I have an indirect way of know ing they are there, such as how I feel about other people's mom's and seeing mothers and children in the partk etc.