Quote:
Originally Posted by splitimage
Here's the context - my 89 year old stepmother is dying of liver cancer. Naturally all of the family are heading to Ottawa to visit. But I can't. the emotional stuff this is bringing up, is overwhelming me. I never realized how many resentments I have against her from my teenage years. My Dad married her when I was 15 just 18 months after my Mom died, and she made it clear she wanted a husband not a kid. She also made it very clear that I wasn't welcome in her house, so i spent a lot of time on the streets. I get nightmares about just thinking of going to Ottawa. I know if I act like the good girl, and go see her, I'll wind up drinking or cutting to deal with the emotions. So why do I feel guilty for not doing what society expects?
--splitimage
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I agree with what everyone else has said to you. One thing I learned after my mother died was that members of my family knew more about what went on between my mother and I than I gave them credit for.
Do what you need to do for yourself. If you are approached later by anyone about your absence, you can simply tell them that the matter is between you and your step-mother and that she knows why you did not come.