I have never been in a long term relationship of any type.

I am at an age where society expects that I should be married, have children, have a stable career...etc.

I would be in heaven if I met the right man for a long term romantic relationship!

In the last 10 years, I have used Internet dating websites to meet men. 98% of the men only wanted to be special friends with me and this is something I do not want. They were also looking for a perfect woman who had a perfect body, career, friends, and didn't have a problem with casual sex...etc.

I do not know where to meet men that would be attracted to me.

Here is a list of what I see as being my negative attributes:

> Shy and withdrawn
> No friends
> Since I have been on medication I have went from a slim size 6...etc to much larger and it isn't from over eating (the doctors once reduced my medications and I went down 3 sizes in less than 2 weeks!). So essentially my metabolism is extremely slow when on medications.
> I have bipolar 1 disorder and PTSD and most men do not want anything to do with a woman that has a mental illness.

Here is a list of my positive attributes:

> I own my home and do not make payments
> I am kind, caring, loving, empathetic...etc
> I have post secondary education in psychology, sociology, and special needs

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Half of me really wants to be in a relationship so that I can have the rights of passage like marriage and children...etc. While the other half of me wouldn't know how to maintain a marriage and children.

I am scared that my time is running out to have children!

I just feel so lonely and desparate for a relationship.

I have given up on Internet dating websites since I seem to only attract men with poor qualities and lifestyles.

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I know I have to work on myself before anyone would want to be in a relationship with me but I feel like time is running out on me.